A Mother's Creed

I,
Da'nelle Robins,

do solemnly swear,
that as a mother
I . . .

• Relinquish the rights to a full, uninterrupted shower, unless taken after 10 PM
• Will no longer wear black
• Will reach into a baby's mouth to retrieve any small object he/she may have found
• Give up a consistent night's sleep for the next 2-5 years. I will instead compensate it with 2-3 blocks of sleep intertwined with 5 minute accidental naps during the day
  
• Will comb and style my daughter's hair even though she will undoubtedly take it out on the way to somewhere important
• Eat my meals only after I have prepared, cut up, and fed my children first. I understand that doing so will generally leave my own food cold and required to be consumed quickly.
• catch vomit with my hand and wipe disgusting messes from all parts of my children's bodies
• will learn how to walk, cook and do Pilates with baby weight* (*baby weight is the weight of a child that holds on to you wilst trying to move or do exercises)
• must learn to sacrifice my way of life, my pride, my selfish wants, and take every opportunity available to teach a principle about what is happening
• Willingly allow my patience, nerve and personal space to be tested to the utmost degree

In return, I will. . .
receive more joy, love and happiness that I could ever have known to be possible.

Signed, Da'nelle Robins